How Emptiness Sings

Brother, he’s suffered like a tree taken down
Wept as he witnessed his dreams carved out
And how can a man just keep walking around
With his heart full of holes

But ooh,
His bow is on the strings
And the tune resonates in the open space
To show us how emptiness sings:

Glory to God, Glory to God!
In fullness of wisdom,
He writes my story into his song,
My life for the glory of God.

Sister carries her loneliness
In a hidden hollow inside her chest
And sometimes all that she wants is an end
To the long, long night

But ooh,
Her bow is on the strings,
And the tune resonates in the open space
To show us how emptiness sings:

Glory to God, Glory to God!
In fullness of wisdom,
He writes my story into his song,
My life for the glory of God.

I haven’t been asked yet to walk the hard roads
Still there’s a sense of deep loss in my soul
In the middle of a party, I’ll just want to go
Home.

But ooh,
My bow is on the strings,
I’m beginning to learn where to find the words
To the song that emptiness sings
Ooh, bow is on the strings:

Glory to God! Glory to God!
This is how emptiness sings, oh,
This is how emptiness sings

-Christa Wells

Less Like Scars

It’s been a hard year
But I’m climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it’s

Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember

And I feel you here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like
Character

Less like a prison, more like my room
It’s less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending

And I feel you here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars

Just a little while ago
I couldn’t feel the power or the hope
I couldn’t cope, I couldn’t feel a thing
Just a little while back
I was desperate, broken, laid out, hoping
You would come

And I need you
And I want you here
And I feel you

And I know you’re here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad, bad situation
But you are able

And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars (x3)

And more like
Character

-Sara Groves

Glory is Here

Someday You’ll come.
Darkness will cease.
True light will dawn, everyone will then see everything new
We’ll finally see You.

Awaiting that day, searching for more
While all along You are found with the poor.
Help me to see
You’re all around me

Our praises arise
As we come to recognize
Jesus is near
Glory is here

In oceans and hills, and in ancient skies;
Hidden in faces and pain and delight; glory is here,
And I get a glimpse of You.

In silence and prayer; in bread and wine;
Somehow the common become the divine.
You’re making me new.
I’m starting to see You

Our praises rise
Our praises rise
Whoa, whoa, yeah

Your glory is here
Your glory is here

-The Michael Gungor Band

Claustrophobic

Yesterday as I was getting into the car for church I almost had a breakdown.  I was bundled up for winter and my seat was too close to the steering wheel.  I had already buckled my seat belt and as I reached down to try to pull the lever to move my seat, my foot pressed down on the brake.  Well, needless to say, the combination of a big winter coat, a seatbelt “locked” into position by the brake, and my usual Sunday morning sweaty forhead made for a nasty combination.  No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get to the lever and I couldn’t get the seatbelt to let loose.  I was bound.  A feeling I absolutely hate.  After much grumbling, I yelled, “Let me go!”  Of course the seatbelt wasn’t really listening.  Am I the only one who hates feeling bound?  Whether it be a seatbelt too tight or a child too close on my covers, I DO NOT like to feel like I can’t move.  I thought of this as Psalm 18 was read in church yesterday.  Listen to this:

4 The cords of death encompassed me; the torrents of destruction assailed me; 5 the cords of Sheol entangled me; the snares of death confronted me.6 In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears.

How awful does that sound?  ”Cords of death, cords of Sheol.”  Sounds much worse than a seatbelt and a winter coat doesn’t it?  But the Psalmist says God hears him and rescues him and read what part of the rescue entails:

18 My enemies confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my support.  19 He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me. (emphasis mine)

When I read the part in bold, I actually chuckled out loud.  To a soul bound by the cords of death and Sheol, what could be better than the Lord ushering that soul into a “broad place?”  One translation reads, “spacious places.”  All I needed yesterday was room to breath, a little space.  The Psalmist was bound and God brought rescue and with it, room to breath, wide open space.  Isn’t that what God does?  He gives us exactly what we need exactly when we need it.

Yesterday we also sang a new song (well, new to us) by Natalie Grant called “Your Great Name.”  Check out these lyrics:

All the weak; find their strength; at the sound of your great name
Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of your great name
The fatherless; they find their rest; at the sound of your great name
Sick are healed; and the dead are raised; at the sound of your great name

Do you see in those lyrics each needy soul finding that God gives exactly what is needed?  What good would it have done yesterday for my wife, while I was bound by that seatbelt,  to say, “Well, I can’t get you free but here’s a flashlight?”  A flashlight would have been useless to me.  I am so glad to serve a God who provides rescue to us in exactly the way we need it.  A God who gives rest to the weary, strength to the weak, righteousness to those who hunger and thirst for it.  Most importantly, when we were bound by the cords of sin, God provided rescue in the person of his Son, Jesus Christ.  His name is truly great!

Thankful

There’s this really funny episode of “Spongebob” where Spongebob thinks that he is ugly because no one will talk to him. His friends are trying to encourage him to be strong but in one moment of weakness, he exclaims, “I’m spiraling, I’m spiraling!” The thought of being ugly is more than he can bear and he is losing control. Come to find out, it wasn’t that he was ugly, he just had rancid breath.

What’s the point you ask? I kinda feel like Spongebob. I’m feeling a little sad today. The Holidays are over and I guess I’m feeling…blue. I was trying to get my wife to commiserate with me this afternoon. “Aren’t you sad,” I asked. Her response was “no”, and when I asked why she told me. She began to run down the list of all the reasons we have to be happy and she’s right. As I think about the last year, God has been so faithful to my family. He has provided for us, our friends, and our church in amazing ways. One year ago, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. Surgery, Chemotherapy, and radiation, which ended today, ensued and she is now cancer free and healing. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Now, I’m mostly kidding about spiraling out of control. I do love the Holidays and I am sad that they’re over but I know they’ll be here again before I know it. I also know that there are plenty of people for whom the Holidays bring genuine sadness for a variety of reasons. I pray for those people. To end, I guess I just want to say I’m so thankful for the way God loves me and for the ways He shows it every day.

Quick Thought

I don’t have a lot to blog about this week. I did want to share a couple thoughts real quick. First, I’m really proud of our team and their hard work in the diaper drive. I had to work but I heard all about how hard they worked. I also got to see the results. Last night we delivered the diapers and got to see first hand what a blessing they will be. This leads to the second thought.

I’m really proud of the part that The Heights kids play in every thing we do. From the beginning, kids have been an integral part of the team. They are never a detriment and we are all blessed because of it, adults and kids alike. This is just one of the things that I think makes our team, and our ministry, unique. I’m honored to be a part of this team and excited to see what God is going to do in and through the kids and adults that make up our team.

Mortality in a Medicine Tube

I have had the same tube of medicine for as long as I can recall.  It’s a .25 ounce tube of Zilactin that I purchased sometime in the early 90′s.  It shows no sign of running out and a strange thought occurred to me last night.  When this little tube runs out I will purchase a new one and if it lasts as long as the current tube, it may be the last tube of Zilactin I ever buy.  Isn’t that silly?  A little tube of medicine had me thinking all last night about the end of life.  Today, I dropped Caden off at Preschool and he didn’t even need me to walk him in.  As he was walking in to the school with his oversize backpack nearly obscuring the sight of him, he stopped twice to call out, “Bye Dad!”  Of course I cried.  My babies are growing up and there is nothing I can do about it.  I confess I spent some time today wondering if anyone would ever really invent a time machine.  Then I spent some time reading through Psalm 90.  Listen to the wisdom of Moses;

“For all our days pass away under your wrath;
we bring our years to an end like a sigh.
The years of our life are seventy,
or even by reason of strength eighty;
yet their span is but toil and trouble;
they are soon gone, and we fly away.
Who considers the power of your anger,
and your wrath according to the fear of you?

The idea is that life is short and we need to remember that the life we have is a gift from God.  The final word from Moses?  “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.”  Good advice from a Godly man.  I’m trying to do that, to be grateful for everyday.  I’m trying to find ways to slow life down and enjoy every day for what it is.  A gift from God.

Also posted at The Heights Blog.

The Wilderness?

Last night I walked into a Panera Bread Co. for the first time in a very long time.  I don’t think I will ever walk into that place without feeling a rush of emotions.  It’s the kind of place where the smell, décor, and even the menu will always make me think of a different time.  Panera Bread used to be a place we visited often.  When we lived in St. Louis, we almost always ate there after church on Sunday and before church on Wednesday nights.  I would say we went to the “bagel store,” as our kids called it, three to four times a week.  Not always for meals mind you, but yes, I would love to have all that money back now.  Panera was also the place where I would spend my Friday mornings.  This was final sermon prep time for me.  The free wi-fi and fresh coffee allowed me to escape the ringing office phone and concentrate on making sure my Sunday message was ready so that I could enjoy Friday night and Saturday with my family.  I loved Friday mornings.  When I walked into that Panera last night, I instantly flashed back to those Friday mornings.

Things were very different in our lives then.  I was the full time Pastor of a church and with that title came the stresses of the ministry but also the perks.  One of those perks is the flexibility of schedule that a full time Pastor enjoys.  Here in Noblesville, I work a very rigid schedule.  I work four ten hour shifts Wednesday through Saturday.  Over the last few weeks my schedule has included mandatory overtime on Tuesdays leaving me with what seems like precious little time with my family.  In the “bagel store” last night, I confess I missed St. Louis a little…at least certain parts of it.  It made me think of a song by Sara Groves.  It’s called “Painting Pictures of Egypt.”  The chorus goes like this,

“I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I”ve learned
And those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned.”

It’s intended to make us think of the children of Israel who obviously hated Egypt but wanted to go back while they were wandering in the wilderness.  Now, I don’t pretend to think myself “in the wilderness.”  We LOVE Noblesville and we love living here.  I am thrilled to be a part of this church planting team and my job has given me so many opportunities to be salt and light that I have no doubt it is of God.  Sometimes however, it does feel hard being here and I find myself “painting pictures of Egypt.”  Our situation in St. Louis wasn’t perfect by any means but it was comfortable.  In those times, I’m trying to be grateful for the lessons I learned in St. Louis and the lessons I’m being taught here in Noblesville.  I know God is using us here and is going to continue to do so.  And oh, by the way, with our two youngest in preschool now, if you want to find me on any given Monday morning, you should check Panera Bread.  I’ll be the guy doing Monday morning sermon prep for my Sunday sermons.

Also, sorry if this is too transparent…that’s kinda the way I roll.               Cross-posted at The Heights Blog.

Simple is Best

Sunday was an interesting day at The Heights Church.  A couple of our families were sick.  Now, Pastor friend, I can hear you saying, “What’s so different about that?  We have sick people every week.”  I understand that.  At the Heights Church however, when a couple families are sick it leaves a pretty empty space.  Many of you know that our church is at it’s very beginning stages and as such, we are just worshiping with the three families that make up our church planting team.  So, as I said, when a couple families are sick, it leaves an empty space.  We made the decision to cancel Sunday School and just meet at our normal space at the normal time for worship.  This gave thePanduku family an opportunity to renew an old tradition.  In the days following our move here, before the Heights was meeting regularly, we used to attend Grace Church.  Every Sunday before church we would have breakfast at Dunkin Dounuts.  It’s too far out of the way to do that now so we don’t go very often.  The change in our schedule gave us the time we needed to make the trip so we took advantage and enjoyed a more…relaxing morning together as a family.

When we arrived at the hotel for worship I learned that not only was the Scott family not going to be at church but half the Penn’s were sick as well.  This left Travis to lead the remaining eight of us, including five kids from 6th grade to four years old, in worship with his guitar.  Worship was great!  Now let me just say that worship is always great at the Heights.  The music time is sweet and the time spent in the Word together always challenging and gospel-centered.  This Sunday was no different.  I will admit that I was leery about worshiping in such a small group but the kids were singing at their best, and loudest and it was just sweet.  We spent some time talking about Heaven (it was during this time that Caden mentioned that Michael Jackson might be in Heaven:) ) and shared communion together.  I left, as I always do, encouraged and ready to face the week.

Also posted at The Heights Blog.

Certainty

This past week I was reading through the book of Hebrews again.  Can a person really read that book too much?  I didn’t think so either.  The whole book is this really neat comparison of the old way (the old covenant) and the new way that Jesus instituted.  In chapter 10, there is a discussion about some of the ways that the priests went about their business; the rituals, the sacrifices, the blood, all in an attempt to remedy the guilt of sin.  Verse 11 of chapter 10 is this hopeless sounding verse.  The ESV translates it this way,

“Every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins.”

Do you see the futility, feel the frustration?  Offering repeatedly the same, useless sacrifices.  Then Jesus appears and listen to the different tone of the next three verses,

“But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, waiting from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet.  For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.”

Quite a difference right?  From futility to certainty.  If you were to keep reading, you would find even more certainty.  Listen to the author of Hebrews in verse 19,

“Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.”

Confidence, new and living, full assurance…That’s more like it right.  Here’s the thing.  It may be cliche, but we live in politically, financially, environmentally uncertain times.  In the midst of all this, Jesus is a certainty.  The work he did once for all on the cross is just as effective today as it was then and will be a thousand years from now.  Jesus is trustworthy, and placing faith in him is no risk at all.  His broken body and shed blood was the perfect sacrifice that is the only remedy for a sinful, guilty, broken world.

Also posted at The Heights blog.